I've been following a blog called A Holy Experience for a few months now, and have been enamored with how the author weaves together words of love for her Lord. Her name is Ann Voskamp, and she has recently authored a book called "A Thousand Gifts". I've been contemplating purchasing it for quite some time, but was moved to do so in the last week because of another blog called Incourage. This blog is partnering with Bloom, an online Christian book club, to pull together women from all over the world to study Ann's book. They are putting together a weekly video, interviewing Ann and talking about her book. They are also hosting an online chat regarding the book.
This was all the encouragement I needed to order the book.
It came in the mail on Thursday, and I have already read the first chapter. It is truly amazing. Usually I don't recommend a book until I have read the entire thing . . . but this book is different. I feel I can recommend it simply based on reading the first chapter. This book could be life-changing for anyone who has dealt with some fairly deep pain in life, and has some fairly big questions and doubts about God being good, and loving.
I've had some pretty big hurts in my own life. Up until this past summer, I've held on to a lot of bitterness and anger toward God. I've yearned for joy to return to my life, but haven't known how to do this. The premise of this book is that Gratitude - and seeing the gifts in every day - is the key to unlocking this joy in my life. Although I have experienced much joy in my life in the last few months due to a "coming clean" with God. I yearn for more. I yearn to feel and experience His love for me. I believe that living a life of gratitude may be part of this move toward greater joy.
Check out the trailer for the book here., or click on any of the key words in this blog entry, and you'll be taken to some of the blogsites that have helped me grow. Also, click here to order the book!
I'm really looking forward to taking this journey of gratitude! What a great way to kick off 2011!
Will you join me?
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Friday, January 21, 2011
Hearing His Voice
As was implied by my last entry, I am in a time of waiting right now. I, like Zechariah, have been silenced and quieted before the Lord for a while. I'm not doing anything BIG for God's kingdom now, but allowing God to grow me . . . to fill me back up with His Grace and His Joy. I'm taking the time to focus on the simple and important things . . . slowing down . . . removing busyness as an idol from my life.
I feel like I am growing wildly in my faith during this time. I look forward to having a quiet time with the Lord each day, and miss it when I don't make time for it. I feel like I am beginning to trust again . . . after much hurt and disappointment . . . after questioning and doubting Him and His Goodness . . . I'm beginning to trust, and see again that this life isn't about me and my desires, but it's simply about Christ shaping me into His likeness a little more each day. It's about surrendering . . . dying to myself. I'm beginning to experience joy . . . but I haven't heard His voice.
I've been praying for God to speak into my life in two different areas: 1. where He wants me to serve Him vocationally next, and 2. for wisdom and discernment in parenting. And, I haven't heard His voice.
Now, sometimes I think I don't hear Him speaking to me because it's simply a matter of waiting a bit longer. I feel that way with my vocation. I believe that He will make it clear to me when and where He wants me to move in this regard. I also feel a general sense of peace regarding being a stay at home mom - which I believe is from Him. For now, I must wait. He'll speak when it's time.
My second request, however is different. As many of you know, one of my children is extraordinarily easy to parent - she's sweet, compliant, loving, kind, respectful - she's every parent's dream. My other daughter, however, is extraordinarily difficult to parent - she can be defiant, obstinate, combative and disrespectful. Because of this, I have been pouring my heart out to the Lord on her behalf - begging for help . . . for wisdom . . . for direction. The Bible says, "seek and you shall find . . . ask and it shall be given", yet I constantly felt I was coming up empty handed.
"God, can't You hear me? Can't you see my heart here? Why am I not hearing from You? Why aren't you helping me?"
Then I came across a scripture . . . I wish I could remember where it was from . . . that said something to the effect that my sin keeps me from hearing God.
Upon reading this, my prayer changed to, "God, what's keeping me from hearing Your voice? Is there a sin in my life that's keeping me from hearing from You on this matter?" Now, I don't have a MAJOR sin in my life . . . I don't struggle with alcoholism or adultery . . . so I didn't really feel like I HAD to pray this prayer . . . I honestly couldn't think of what was keeping me from hearing from Him. I AM a pretty good person, after all (said with sarcasm). But I prayed it anyway, and something happened.
I don't know how to explain it, but God DID reveal a matter of sin in my life.
I realized that I had been holding a grudge against both God, and my difficult daughter. I was angry that after all the years of praying for a child, God had given me THIS one. I was angry that she couldn't be like other kids . . . or be the ideal kid. In my anger, I sinned. I thought terrible thoughts and muttered terrible things under my breath. I was being self-centered, ungrateful and was having a pity party for myself. Lately I haven't treasured her. I've only loved conditionally.
Here I was, thinking I was doing the right thing by asking for His wisdom and His help in parenting her . . . but I was coming up empty-handed and frustrated. But, how could I possibly expect to hear from God, when I've allowed such sin and untruths to permeate my being?
Once God revealed this to me, I did the only thing there was to do. I confessed that sin before him. And ever since, I feel like the floodgates of wisdom and discernment have been opened up to me. He's helping me to see my daughter with His eyes, and He's giving me the patience and wisdom to deal with the difficult moments and days. I'm seeing such a change in my own heart, and little by little, I'm seeing changes in her too.
I know this is kind of a long, rambling post, but I felt like it was too important NOT to share it.
Confession isn't a big enough part of our lives as Christians. Oh, we're great at thanking Him and praising Him, and we're even better at asking Him for stuff . . . but when is the last time you came clean before your Heavenly Father?
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24
Before I had my time of true confession before Him, I felt exhausted. Scripture speaks to the same thing:
"When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer."
Psalm 32:3-4
Do you ever feel exhausted? Do feel your strength sapped? Are you talking to God, and not hearing back from Him? To often I find myself living in the strength-sapped state of life and not hearing His voice speaking into my life.
That should be a clue that it's time to practice the discipline of confession.
"Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my
transgressions to the LORD" -
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin."
Psalm 32:5
If I am to be truly wise and successful in this life, confession MUST become a regular part of my conversations with God. Understanding my fallenness right-sizes me before the Lord, and reminds me of my desperate need for a Savior! When I'm reminded of that, it's much easier to live a grace-filled life toward others.
I feel like I am growing wildly in my faith during this time. I look forward to having a quiet time with the Lord each day, and miss it when I don't make time for it. I feel like I am beginning to trust again . . . after much hurt and disappointment . . . after questioning and doubting Him and His Goodness . . . I'm beginning to trust, and see again that this life isn't about me and my desires, but it's simply about Christ shaping me into His likeness a little more each day. It's about surrendering . . . dying to myself. I'm beginning to experience joy . . . but I haven't heard His voice.
I've been praying for God to speak into my life in two different areas: 1. where He wants me to serve Him vocationally next, and 2. for wisdom and discernment in parenting. And, I haven't heard His voice.
Now, sometimes I think I don't hear Him speaking to me because it's simply a matter of waiting a bit longer. I feel that way with my vocation. I believe that He will make it clear to me when and where He wants me to move in this regard. I also feel a general sense of peace regarding being a stay at home mom - which I believe is from Him. For now, I must wait. He'll speak when it's time.
My second request, however is different. As many of you know, one of my children is extraordinarily easy to parent - she's sweet, compliant, loving, kind, respectful - she's every parent's dream. My other daughter, however, is extraordinarily difficult to parent - she can be defiant, obstinate, combative and disrespectful. Because of this, I have been pouring my heart out to the Lord on her behalf - begging for help . . . for wisdom . . . for direction. The Bible says, "seek and you shall find . . . ask and it shall be given", yet I constantly felt I was coming up empty handed.
"God, can't You hear me? Can't you see my heart here? Why am I not hearing from You? Why aren't you helping me?"
Then I came across a scripture . . . I wish I could remember where it was from . . . that said something to the effect that my sin keeps me from hearing God.
Upon reading this, my prayer changed to, "God, what's keeping me from hearing Your voice? Is there a sin in my life that's keeping me from hearing from You on this matter?" Now, I don't have a MAJOR sin in my life . . . I don't struggle with alcoholism or adultery . . . so I didn't really feel like I HAD to pray this prayer . . . I honestly couldn't think of what was keeping me from hearing from Him. I AM a pretty good person, after all (said with sarcasm). But I prayed it anyway, and something happened.
I don't know how to explain it, but God DID reveal a matter of sin in my life.
I realized that I had been holding a grudge against both God, and my difficult daughter. I was angry that after all the years of praying for a child, God had given me THIS one. I was angry that she couldn't be like other kids . . . or be the ideal kid. In my anger, I sinned. I thought terrible thoughts and muttered terrible things under my breath. I was being self-centered, ungrateful and was having a pity party for myself. Lately I haven't treasured her. I've only loved conditionally.
Here I was, thinking I was doing the right thing by asking for His wisdom and His help in parenting her . . . but I was coming up empty-handed and frustrated. But, how could I possibly expect to hear from God, when I've allowed such sin and untruths to permeate my being?
Once God revealed this to me, I did the only thing there was to do. I confessed that sin before him. And ever since, I feel like the floodgates of wisdom and discernment have been opened up to me. He's helping me to see my daughter with His eyes, and He's giving me the patience and wisdom to deal with the difficult moments and days. I'm seeing such a change in my own heart, and little by little, I'm seeing changes in her too.
I know this is kind of a long, rambling post, but I felt like it was too important NOT to share it.
Confession isn't a big enough part of our lives as Christians. Oh, we're great at thanking Him and praising Him, and we're even better at asking Him for stuff . . . but when is the last time you came clean before your Heavenly Father?
"Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting."
Psalm 139:23-24
Before I had my time of true confession before Him, I felt exhausted. Scripture speaks to the same thing:
"When I kept silent,
my bones wasted away
through my groaning all day long.
For day and night
your hand was heavy upon me;
my strength was sapped
as in the heat of summer."
Psalm 32:3-4
Do you ever feel exhausted? Do feel your strength sapped? Are you talking to God, and not hearing back from Him? To often I find myself living in the strength-sapped state of life and not hearing His voice speaking into my life.
That should be a clue that it's time to practice the discipline of confession.
"Then I acknowledged my sin to you
and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, "I will confess my
transgressions to the LORD" -
and you forgave
the guilt of my sin."
Psalm 32:5
If I am to be truly wise and successful in this life, confession MUST become a regular part of my conversations with God. Understanding my fallenness right-sizes me before the Lord, and reminds me of my desperate need for a Savior! When I'm reminded of that, it's much easier to live a grace-filled life toward others.
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