Summer Days Make Me Feel Fine!

I LOVE SUMMER! I love the warm weather, the sun, the campfires, the s'mores, the flowers, the water. I love having two beautiful children that help me see summer through their eyes! In our grown up worlds, we lose sight of how amazing God's creation is. We're just too busy to see it for what it is - A WONDER!

Kids help us with our perspectives on things, though, don't they? Bella nevery tires of yelling out, "Look, Mommy, a butterfly!" Faith never tires of finding new "pets" to "play with". And who can deny how fun it was to run through a sprinkler - or to drink from one for that matter!

I want to encourage all of my fellow bloggers - or blog visitors - to get outside today! Take a look at the world around you through the eyes of a child. Take time to wonder at God's amazing creation - His amazing attention to details! Just think about the dandelion (Mike's arch enemy)! They may be weeds, but through the eyes of a child, they're beautiful. Faith just said the other day, "I just love to look at Grandma's yard! It's so beautiful with all those flowers in it! How come our yard doesn't have any?"


Faith and her first "pet" of the summer. Say "Hi" to Toady!


Bella's not so sure about the whole toad thing . . . she's very interested in watching Faith play with it, but not too keen on touching it herself!

Happy Summer!

Farewell to Preschool!

Last week Friday was Faith's very last day of Preschool. Her class had a wonderful farewell picnic at a local park. It was supposed to rain that morning, but it ended up to be the perfect day for it!

I know it sounds a little crazy, but I found myself getting a little misty-eyed as I thought about how quickly this last year went and how much Faith has grown. The year started with a little four-year-old who didn't want to go to preschool without her faithful pal Rar (her bear) - to a wildly independent almost-five-year-old who can't wait to tackle Kindergarten (with or without Rar).

We worked through some fairly tough months of defiance and strong-willedness. But now I see a little girl filled with compassion for others and a willingness to share and be kind and help (most of the time).

I am so thankful for the patience and love that Mrs. Konyndyk and Mrs. Clark showed toward Faith this last year. I'm thankful for the Christ-centered education she received. I'm thankful that she has made friends that could very well last her a lifetime! (My dearest friend to this day is someone I met in Kindergarten . . . I love you Tina!)

I'm grateful that Faith continues to grow and mature . . . but bit by bit, my and Mike's sphere of influence is being wittled away. Soon she'll be with other people more than she'll be with us (maybe that's a good thing). It's so great, though, to know Whose hands she's in - to know that her Father has her secure in His grip.

Here's to hoping Kindergarten is even better!

Happy Anniversary!

Sorry about the lack of blogging over the last week! You all were getting used to me posting everyday, weren't you?

We had a wonderful Memorial Day weekend . . . as I'm sure all of you did. However we had the added bonus of celebrating 12 years of marriage over the weekend! 12 years!

Boy, in some ways it seems like yesterday that we were "tying the knot" - and yet, I can barely remember a time before Mike. I was 16 when we started dating. We dated for 4 years and have been married for 12. . . which means I have been with Mike for HALF OF MY LIFE! Yikes!



Just look at us! We were just kids - 20 and 21 - clueless and in love. Don't you love the poofy sleeves? Man oh man I thought I had the most beautiful wedding dress EVER! Poofy, sparkley dresses were all the rage in 1995. Now they're all elegant and sleek and timeless. But I digress . . .

Back to 12 years of married bliss!

I feel like Mike and I have lived more life - and experienced more ups and downs in 12 years, than most people do in a lifetime! Yet, every day - EVERY SINGLE DAY - is better than the one before it. No, we don't always have the mushy, gushy feelings we had toward each other on our wedding day, but our love has grown to be a comfy, stable, safe, mature (OK, sort of mature) love.

When we were dating, and actually, regularly went out on dates, I used to feel bad for the "old married people" sitting at the table next to us - not talking. Now I understand that sometimes silence is nice - sometimes, silence can be comfortable - sometimes it's nice to not have to say anything, yet know the person sitting across from you "just knows" what you're thinking.

I absolutely love being married to Mike! I love God's provision for me through him. I couldn't have known at 16 what I would need 16 years down the line . . . I couldn't have known about all of the trials that would change us and grow us . . . but God did! He knew just who we would be today, and just how perfect we would be for each other TODAY. It gives me confidence that 12 years from now, we'll be just as perfect for each other!

Thanks, Mike, for 12 amazing years! I love you with all of my heart! I need you each and everyday! You are the love of my life. I would marry you all over again in a heartbeat! Trust. Love. Respect. Forever.

Let's just hope the next 12 years are less eventful than the last 12!

Feeling Better Everyday!

Wow! It has been a long time since I've felt this good! I even caught the girls' summer cold . . . and I still feel better than I have in two months!

Thank you, Lord!

It's so wonderful to appreciate the little things that I normally see as boring or "just everyday stuff": playing with my girls, running through sprinklers in the backyard, cleaning my house, spreading bark, pulling weeds, taking a walk to the mailbox. I'm also appreciating normal "body functions" if you know what I mean! After 47 days of diarrhea . . . things are back to normal - thank goodness. I know, for some of you that's TMI . . . but if you know me well, you know I'm an open book!

Here's to feeling better! Here's to feeling normal! It's WONDERFUL!

Drum roll please . . .

And the mystery virus is . . .



. . . a . . . mystery . . . virus . . .



Isn't that great? I go to the best diagnostic clinic in the USA - if not the world, and they can't give a name to what I have. The good news is that they ruled out tons of major stuff that could have been causing my symptoms.

The doc wrote a two-page report saying that, more or less, I had a nasty virus . . . which left me with post-infectious dysautonomia . . . whatever that means. His suggestion was to seek help from a medical psychologist that can help me overcome my "medical anxiety" and "possible depression", and to begin a graduated exercise program. Both of these things should draw me up out of feeling cruddy.

Anyway, we're thankful to God that we were able to rule out some pretty major stuff, and that I'm beginning to feel better each day. I even drove carpool today! That's progress!

Thanks again to all of you for your prayers and support during the last month and a half! I wouldn't have made it through without you!

Still Waiting

I called Mayo again this morning, and my results are in and dictated - now they just need to be typed up and faxed our way.

As soon as I hear anything, I'll post about it.

The Wait Continues

Hey Everyone!

We were really hoping to have answers by today . . . but, to no avail!

I called first thing this morning to touch base with the doc. The goal was two-fold: first, to find out if we could have the psyc. appt. here at home - and to find out what that would entail and second, to find out when we could speak with the doctor about the test results.

When we left on Friday, we were under the impression that we still had our appointments for Tuesday in case we needed to come back (it was never confirmed that we could finish up at home). After calling this morning, we found out that they had canceled our appointments, assuming we were going to wrap things up here. That means our appt. with the doc has been filled by another patient, and we have to wait for him to get to my test results "in his spare time."

We're certainly frustrated by that, but understand the confusion of it all. So, for now, we're stuck waiting yet again.

Patience . . .

It seems to be the lesson God has had to test me on over and over again. Apparently I'm a slow learner.

Divorce - it took my parents almost 3 years to figure out if they were going to be together or get divorced . . . waiting . . . hoping.

Infertility - it took 4 long years of trying, miscarrying, crying, surgeries before Faith came along . . . waiting . . . praying.

Cancer - tests . . . waiting . . . surgeries . . . waiting . . . praying . . . waiting.

Now this.

I have to admit, it's getting easier - the waiting, that is. I'm learning once again, that I'm not in control. But I am safely in the arms of The One who IS! He knows what's going on with me. He created me. He will be The One to restore me back to ME.

I've learned a lot over the last month and a half - about priorities, about delegation, about friendship and fellowship, about patience, and about my complete dependence on my Father. I've learned a lot about the importance of staying in God's Word (something I've been very sporadic at until my accountabilty girls came along) and about the importance of being in constant communication with The One who created me.

When I am weak, He is strong!

In the meantime, I'm feeling a bit stronger each day . . . and I'm learning that God works mightily in "The Waiting."

Just as a side note, there is another gal at my church experiencing similar symptoms to me - only she's been dealing with it for a month longer! Ugh! Her name is Sue . . . and when you think of saying a prayer for me, I'd love it if you'd say one for her too! She's been waiting longer than I have . . . but God is at work in her life too.

I love you all! Thanks again for your prayers and support!

25K

I am SO PROUD of Mike!

He started running in October as part of a one month weight loss challenge at his work. After one month, he lost 10 lbs, and he became addicted. Shortly after, he decided to sign up for a local 25K and has been training ever since.

Well, today was race day! It was the perfect weather for a run - mid 40's in the early morning, ending up at about 65 ish. Mike's parents, the girls and I made the trek downtown to watch him toward the end of the race. It was great to see his face coming toward us. The cheerleader in me came out in full force! I was yelling and cheering, and - despite my fatigue - was running down the sidewalk yelling encouragements at him.

I am so proud of him! I don't know many people who can run 15 miles . . . and he doesn't come by running naturally. He really had to work hard to achieve this 25K goal.

He finished in 2 hours, 11 minutes and 31 seconds! That's amazing for a first-timer! A huge goal for people running the race is to do it in under two hours . . . he almost did it his first try! Amazing!

Anyway, if you're interested, check out his stats here. You'll have to punch in his first and last name (Michael), and it will tell you the rest!

God is good! I realize in the grand scheme of life, a 25K isn't that important. But, God answered our simple little prayer to be home from Mayo in time for him to run this race, and we were! Thank you, Lord!

No Results . . . Yet

Thanks again to all of you for your continued prayers throughout this whole ordeal!

We waited for the Doctor as long as we could yesterday, but he ended up to be too busy to meet. By the time we left all of our test results were in - we just had no-one to read them to us.

We're hoping to call in on Monday morning and get some answers. If the test results tell the doc what he was looking for, we should be able to just get the prognosis over the phone. If they show something weird, we'll probably be called back for some additional testing - in which case, we'll actually go to the psyc appt. there and meet with the doc in person.

Anyway, as soon as we get some answers, we'll let ya'll know!

In the meantime, we thank God for a safe trip! It's good to be home.

Waiting . .

Ok, this is actually the church lady this time. I decided to give my guest blogger a break for a little while, although he's a lot more fun and witty than I am!

I started the day off with an echocardiogram - while running on a treadmill. I haven't run in over 2 months . . . you would think I feel exhausted . . . but it actually felt pretty good. From there I had some breathing tests, and from there I had an ultrasound done of my abdomen. Then we hit an Italian restaurant called "Victoria's" - home of the best Walley sandwich in Minnesota. Mike and I split it and we concure! Delic! In addition to that we had the best pasta dishes we've ever had. It felt good to eat after fasting for most of the day. Mike filled himself to capacity - he has the big 25K tomorrow, so he's hoping the pasta will make him run fasta!

Anyway, it's 3:00 here, and we're waiting on possibly seeing my doc before we leave today. The only appointment we have left is with a psychologist on Tuesday, and then we were supposed to meet with our doc after that. Today we inquired about the possibility of meeting with the doc today, and doing the psyc evaluation at home somewhere. Our shuttle leaves for the airport at 3:50 . . . so time is ticking away! Here's hoping we get in in the next couple of minutes. Otherwise, we're stuck waiting for any test results until Tuesday . . . and we may have to drive the 9 hours here to get them.

We'll keep you posted as we know more!

Passenger Seat Day 2

Quick update this morning from the Husband. We're headed off for Day 2 shortly. First appointment this morning is at 10:00 - Stress Eco - I encouraged Wife to wear camo capri's this morning for the testing. Get after it. Ultrasound at 12:00 (assuming she's alive after the stress eco). Then Pulmonary function testing at 2:15. Leave the Camel menthol wides at the door, please.

We're flying home tonite. Unfortunately, the last testing isn't scheduled until Tuesday with no possibility of getting it moved up. We'll be home for the weekend and then have to drive back Monday. At that point, the initial consult Doctor will have a chance to review all the testing that was completed and hopefully give us a diagnosis and prescribe a course of treatement.

As amazing as this experience has been, we're anxious to get home to spend some time with our dependants. Thanks for all your prayers.

The Passenger Seat

It's an honor to be asked to be The Church Lady's 1st guest blogger. Having never blogged before, she's taking a significant risk in asking that I sign on. I think she might like me. I am, after all, the Husband.

I'm certain I read somewhere that "In order to understand a Solution, one must understand the Problem first." That being said, the Solution, in this case, is Mayo clinic.

First, the Problem:
Waiting to be seen by a Doctor.
Waiting to have tests ordered and scheduled.
Waiting for the results of those tests to go to the Doctor you initially waited for.
Waiting for that Doctor (or Doctor's representative) to call you back and leave you a voice mail to call them back.
Calling back and having to wait for the Doctor again to tell you that test you took was inconclusive and another test had to be ordered.
Repeat.

I'm afraid for many, this is an experience that has been lived out - some are in the middle of this maddening cycle as we speak. You are painfully aware of the Problem. For those of you who have never experienced this cycle, consider yourselves fortunate and give thanks to God for your daily health and strength.

Our day was spent very much in the passenger seat of the machine that is Mayo Clinic. Along for the ride, fast and furious.
6:40 AM - Admissions at the Gonda Building. Paperwork complete and signed in. Sent to Mayo building 17th floor - "Internal Medicine". This is our new Home Room for the duration of our stay.
7:00 AM - Greeted by Dorothy. Sweet Dorothy. Pleasant Dorothy. After mis-pronouncing Wife's first name we were treated to our only Minnesota humor for the day when she corrected herself saying "Oh Garsh, how did that happen?". I've forgiven her.
7:30 AM - Wife taken back for vitals - blood pressure, height, and weight. Yes, weight. I'll tell in exchange for baked goods.
8:40 AM - Wife taken back for initial consult / physical with the Doctor assigned to her.
10:15 AM - Wife back from consult. Doctor orders necessary tests and we wait for the day's schedule.
10:40 AM - Dorothy calls us to the desk and goes through our five page schedule. "You're already ten minutes late for your 1st appointment", she tells us...off we go.
10:45 AM - Blood work at the Hilton Building. Twelve vials taken.
10:50 AM - Done with blood work. Off to pick up "stool samples" kit.
10:58 AM - "Samples" kit retrieved and off to EKG appointment.
11:00 AM - Back at Gonda Subway for scheduled EKG. Sign in for appointment.
11:05 AM - Wife called back for EKG.
11:30 AM - Wife back from EKG. Break for lunch and a deep breath.
1:40 PM - Show up twenty minutes early for our appointment after a lovely lunch at JP's deli (voted best Deli in Rochester 2006 - try the #20 with salt and vinegar chips). Sign in for appointment.
1:42 PM - Wife taken back for Autonomic Testing (no idea what this means, but it sounds sweet).
2:44 PM - Wife back and we head to our last appointment of the day - more blood work.
3:24 PM - Sign in for last blood draw of the day.
3:27:30 PM - Wife taken back for blood draw (note the 30-second indicator).
3:29 PM - Wife back from blood draw and we're done for Day 1. I suspect the nurse is either VERY good at what she does, or hides a chronic intraveneous drug problem very well while at work. Either way, good with needles.

The Solution: Organized and Efficient Health Care.

I can't even begin to imagine how they pull it all off, but they do. And that's enough for me. Bring on Day 2.

We've Met . . . Now We Wait . . .

I met with the doctor this morning . . . about an hour and a half after our appointed time. However, I felt very good about our meeting. He had a good bedside manor. And, when he heard I directed the children's ministries for my church . . . he asked if my denomination was like the Lutheran denomination. He grew up Lutheran. I don't know if he's a Christian or not, but he was very kind and thorough.

He did a full examination, asked lots of questions, and took time to briefly assess what he thinks is going on. He refered to the system in your body that initiates the "fight or flight" response. He seems to think that that system is a little wacked out right now. It kicks in in the middle of the night, or at weird times instead of when I need it to. He's going to do some tests to check on a particular syndrome associated with this called POTTS.

He also wants to do and ECCO cardiogram just to rule out further viral problems with my heart. I'll be having a few other random tests done . . . we're still waiting for our schedule of what they'll be. I'll also be meeting with a psychologist - not because he thinks I'm crazy, but because the mind and body are so inter-related.

Hopefully we'll get some more answers today.

Prayer requests:

Pray that the ECCO comes back normal. This is the scariest test I have to have. Pray that God protects my heart from any viral infection or harm.

Pray that we'll be able to get the tests done in the next day or two, and be able to head home this weekend.

Pray for continued peace. I know I'm in good hands - not just at Mayo - but in the Father's!

I'll post another update as I know what's going on!

I love you all!

I've Got a Bad Case of the "What Ifs?"

OK, it's just after 6:00a here, and I'm shaky and nervous . . . my mind is filled with all sorts of "what ifs?".

I know these thoughts aren't from God. I know I am in God's hands. I know He has gone ahead of me on this day. I know He will take care of me.

Pray with me against these anxious thoughts. Pray for peace. Pray for simple answers.

Just Pray!

We Made It!

Hey everyone!

Just a quick note to let everyone know we made it to sunny Rochester, Minnesota. It's a beautiful, upper 70's day and our hotel is wonderful . . . they even have sleep number beds here! Fancy!

The trip was quite uneventful - other than feeling really tired all day.

I was able to rest when we got to the hotel, and now we're headed out to get some dinner. I can't eat after 7:00p, so we're going to try to find something good!

We'll post again tomorrow to let you all know what's happening.

Thank you SO MUCH for your prayers. They mean the world to us! A few requests:

Please pray against anxiety for me . . . as much as I want to know what's wrong with me . . . I don't want to know what's wrong with me . . . does that make sense?

Pray for the doctors and technicians - for clarity - for direction.

Pray that we can arrive at some answers. Not knowing what's going on is a little nerve wrecking . . . your mind goes to bad places.

Pray that it's something simple and treatable.

Pray for a good night's sleep. I usually don't sleep well in hotels . . . and lately I can't even sleep well in my own bed . . . maybe if I find my perfect sleep number, I'll sleep like a baby!

Pray for the girls - that they would do well with mommy and daddy gone.

Pray that we can get this wrapped up by Friday night so we can be home for the weekend (and so Mike can run his much-anticipated 25K on Saturday).

We love you all! We'll check back in tomorrow!

Never Say Never

I always said that I would NEVER have a TV in my bedroom! My arguments are as follows:

1. TV is far from an good thing. Most of the stuff on it is junk (accept American Idol, House and Gray's Anatomy). We're probably better off reading a good book, or actually sitting down to a nice conversation with a cup of coffee. This is why we moved our regular TV from our upstairs greatroom to our basement. With it down there, we watch much less than we used to.

2. Your bedroom should be a sanctuary. A peaceful place for you and your husband to share without yet another distraction.

I still believe these arguments . . .

HOWEVER, when you can do nothing all day but sit around, there comes a breaking point.

My husband found an old TV of ours and hooked it up in our bedroom, and it has been wonderful! We also recently added the $4 cable package to our high speed internet package, and now we can actually see the network channels, and there are a couple extra channels like TBS and HSN and a few others that add some extra movies and interesting shows that we don't normally get.

At night, when I'm starting to fade, I just want to lie down . . . but Mike isn't quite ready yet, so we've been able to snuggle together and watch a movie. If I fall asleep . . . no problem . . . I'm already in my bed!

Mornings have been the worst for me . . . and, of course, that is when the girls are the most energetic. This morning, Faith got both girls containers with Cheerios in them and sippy cups of milk, they crawled into bed with me and watched PBS Kids for much of the morning and I was able to actually sleep in! Amazing.

As soon as I'm better, I'm going to boot the TV back out again . . . but for now, it's a blessing!

I guess it's true what they say, "Never Say Never!"

The Voice of Truth

I know I've been a little too "Church Lady" lately . . . but I my faith is being tested yet again . . . so my mind is constantly thinking about the spiritual realm and I feel like I'm in a constant state of prayer.

This mystery sickness is going on well over a month, and I'm amazed at the difference a day can make on my attitude and well-being.

There are days I wake up feeling pretty good - the sun is shining - the girls are behaving - and it feels like maybe I'm turning the corner on this thing. It's easy on those days to feel peace and God's provision of grace.

Then there are days I wake up feeling - literally - like I'm dying. I'm so weak I can hardly lift Bella into her high chair, my heart is racing, I can't breath well, I'm shaky and fatigued. These are days that bad thoughts enter my mind . . . what if this is something really bad? What if I never feel better? I'm a terrible mom - I can't even care for my own kids. I know those "voices" that I'm hearing aren't coming from God. I know they are coming from the evil one . . . but it's so tempting and easy to succomb to those voices.

This morning while Mike and the girls were at church, I was worshiping in my own home by listening to the radio, and a song came on called "The Voice of Truth" by Casting Crowns. Tears came to my eyes as I listened to the words:

"And the voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says DO NOT BE AFRAID
The voice of truth says THIS IS FOR YOUR GLORY
Out of all the voices crying out to me
I will CHOOSE to listen and believe the voice of TRUTH!"

Please pray for me that I wll choose to listen and believe the voice of truth - that I won't be afraid - that I can see that God is working all of this out for HIS glory! I pray the same for all of you. We all have "voices" that tell us things contrary to what God's word says. Let's choose together to listen to THE VOICE OF TRUTH!

The Body of Christ

Wow! I am in awe of God's provision for me!

The Body of Christ - the Christian community - is truly amazing!

I've seen the following passage come to life in the last few weeks! I'm sorry to get all "Church Lady" on of you, but this is what's on my heart . . . so endulge me in reading this!

Romans 12:4-8
"Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts according to the grace given us. If a man's gift is prophesying, let him use it in proportion to his faith. If it is serving, let him serve; if it is teaching, let him teach; if it is encouraging, let him encourage; if it is contributing to the needs of others, let him give generously; if it is leadership, let him govern diligently; if it is showing mercy, let him do it cheerfully."

I stand amazed at the way we have been embraced, supported and lifted up during this tough time. We've been provided with several meals, childcare, emails, cards, prayers etc. and don't know what we'd do without them. I stand amazed at the people who have taken over my duties at church! They've stepped up their leadership and teaching skills big-time. I'm stand amazed at the encouragement, generosity and loving-kindness we've received.

The only gift I haven't received from someone yet is prophesy . . . I could use a little of that! Ha Ha! Could someone tell me when this is all going to be over and done with? At least if I knew, I could mentally gear up for it!

I'm still feeling pretty crummy over-all, but am very happy that I have good days mixed in with the bad. We've gotten a referral to go to the Mayo Clinic next week (May 10), so hopefully we'll get some answers from them.

Thanks for sharing your God-given gifts with us! We wouldn't be able to get through all of this without you - The Body of Christ!

I love you all!