Hey everyone!
Thanks so much for your prayers for my mom over the last couple days. It's hard to believe it's only been a couple of days. It kind of feels longer than that.
I could hardly believe it, but the docs gave my mom permission to come home last night! She has bounced back remarkably fast!
Yesterday I got to the hospital around 11:00a and was able to take her for a little walk in a wheelchair to the beautiful courtyard area of the hospital. We had an 80 degree day here yesterday, and the sun was shining like crazy! We sat outside for a half hour or so. She said it felt good to get outside, and feel the sun on her skin. She started feeling a bit dizzy, so I took her back to her room to rest again.
After she had had some lunch she started to feel better and later that afternoon she was walking laps around the hospital floor. When the docs and nurses saw how well she was doing, they started talking about sending her home. Once that idea was presented, it sounded very good to my mom to be in the quietness of her own home rather than being interrupted for check ups, and listening to her roommate's snores and TV shows.
I got back to the hospital about 7:00p and she was all packed and ready to go home. We got the final "discharge order" at about 8:15p and were on the road home by 8:30p.
She said she slept well last night, only waking up a couple of times. That is a huge answer to prayer - she needs to rest well in order to get better quick!
She will be meeting with both surgeons next week to get her drainage tubes removed, and talk about next steps, but for now she's recovering well at home.
Continue to pray for healing - both physical and emotional - this has been a long week. Pray against infection and discouragement. Also, please continue to pray that the pathology reports on her tumor and lymph nodes are good ones (initial reports look good, but they are doing more detailed pathology to make sure)! Her future treatment is obviously contingent on what those reports say. She's planning on having to go through radiation at this point (all though that's not a for sure thing), and there is also a slight chance she'll need to have chemo too. She'll obviously do whatever the docs and oncologists say, but we sure are praying hard that she won't need to have chemo!
Her spirits are high, her attitude is amazing, and her love for and dependence upon the Lord are growing daily.
Thanks to all of you again for your prayers, love and support!
We love you!
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Friday, April 24, 2009
She Made it Through!
Wow, yesterday was a really long day.
There were tremendously amazing moments, and moments that I wouldn't want to do over again.
The day started early with my mom riding along with me as I drove carpool for school. From there I brought her to Blodgett for her nuclear injection. That went surprisingly fast which left us some time to ourselves to take a walk and breath in the fresh wonderful morning. We drove to East GR (where she works), parked the car and walked around Reed's lake for a bit, then we dropped in to see the ladies that she works with. From there we walked for another 45 minutes or so. It was a bit chilly, but the morning was beautiful, and we were able to enjoy a little exercise and some good time to chat about anything and everything.
We arrived back at the hospital around 10:30a and the nurses got her all prepped to go to the holding area. She was in her initial room from about 10:40 to noon. During that time, Mike, all of my mom's siblings, Grandma and Grandpa Veenstra and Pastor Scott showed up to support her and keep her busy with conversation. We had two wonderful times of prayer together as a group, which was so meaningful. Pastor Scott read Q & A #1 of the Catechism:
Lord's Day 1
Q & A 1
Q. What is your only comfort
in life and in death?
A. That I am not my own,
but belong—
body and soul,
in life and in death—
to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.
He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood,
and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.
He also watches over me in such a way
that not a hair can fall from my head
without the will of my Father in heaven:
in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.
Because I belong to him,
Christ, by his Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life
and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready
from now on to live for him.
My mom was very peaceful and didn't seem at all nervous. I think she was really ready to get on with this part of the journey.
At noon, she was moved to a holding area where they continued to prep her for surgery. Both her surgeons, her anesthesiologist and a nurse came to chat with her ahead of time. Her surgery was scheduled at 1:00, but Dr. Zadvinskis' first surgery of the day went a little longer than expected, so she didn't actually get taken back to surgery until 2:00. By then she had her "happy medicine" and was quite peaceful as she got carted back.
Dr. Zad came out halfway through the surgery to give us an update. He told us that they almost didn't go ahead with the reconstruction because the tumor was more "invasive" than they originally thought via the MRI pics. It, in fact, had grown a bit into her chest cavity and had begun to invade the muscle tissue. They ended up having to remove a good piece of her pectoral muscle to get all the cancer out. Because the muscle was infected, there's a high probability that she will need radiation. Depending on what the pathology reports show, there is even a slight possibility that she'll need chemo. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but for now we'll pray that the pathology results don't warrant that.
Due to the fact that Dr. Zad had to remove muscle, Dr. Ford, the plastic surgeon, had to adjust his tactics a bit. There wasn't enough muscle left to create a pocket for her temporary implant, so he had to pull muscle up from her left side/back in order to have a pocket of muscle big enough for the implant.
Both the initial mastectomy and the reconstruction surgeries were a bit more involved than they anticipated, so she's pretty sore. That said, we prayed that the Lord would open the eyes of the surgeons to see everything they needed to see, and that they would get all the cancer out. It appears that they've been able to do just that, and that is reason to give thanks and praise! Also, we prayed that her lymph nodes would be free and clear of cancer. They ended up removing 7 lymph nodes and they all came back negative for cancer - which is a HUGE praise! Thank you, Lord!
Obviously we've entered yet another time of waiting . . . waiting for pathology reports, waiting to figure out "next steps", waiting for God to begin healing her body . . . but we have the promise that: " . . . those who wait upon the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
As we wait, we TRUST. We know Whose hands my mom is in. We know that God is her Creator, Healer, Redeemer, Friend, Rock, Fortress and her Abba. He loves and cares for her more than I do (which is A LOT!!!), and He will be faithful to carry her through this by his grace and peace.
Please continue to pray for her. Pray for good pain management. Pray for peace - she still doesn't know (as of last night anyway) how extensive her surgeries were, and she doesn't know about the possibility of radiation etc. That's going to be discouraging to her. Pray against discouragement. Praise God for the good news we DID get regarding getting all the cancer out and now cancer in the lymph nodes. Praise God that my mom, and her whole crew of supporters were truly able to be light and salt. There's no way that people sitting and standing around us couldn't have heard the "good news" and peace that comes from complete trust in God. Pray for healing. Pray that wise decisions can be made on the parts of the docs and nurses (and us) regarding what the next steps are. Pray that my mom will be encouraged, edified and lifted up.
Thanks for your love, thoughts and prayers . . . they are carrying us through!
Much love to all of you!
There were tremendously amazing moments, and moments that I wouldn't want to do over again.
The day started early with my mom riding along with me as I drove carpool for school. From there I brought her to Blodgett for her nuclear injection. That went surprisingly fast which left us some time to ourselves to take a walk and breath in the fresh wonderful morning. We drove to East GR (where she works), parked the car and walked around Reed's lake for a bit, then we dropped in to see the ladies that she works with. From there we walked for another 45 minutes or so. It was a bit chilly, but the morning was beautiful, and we were able to enjoy a little exercise and some good time to chat about anything and everything.
We arrived back at the hospital around 10:30a and the nurses got her all prepped to go to the holding area. She was in her initial room from about 10:40 to noon. During that time, Mike, all of my mom's siblings, Grandma and Grandpa Veenstra and Pastor Scott showed up to support her and keep her busy with conversation. We had two wonderful times of prayer together as a group, which was so meaningful. Pastor Scott read Q & A #1 of the Catechism:
Lord's Day 1
Q & A 1
Q. What is your only comfort
in life and in death?
A. That I am not my own,
but belong—
body and soul,
in life and in death—
to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ.
He has fully paid for all my sins with his precious blood,
and has set me free from the tyranny of the devil.
He also watches over me in such a way
that not a hair can fall from my head
without the will of my Father in heaven:
in fact, all things must work together for my salvation.
Because I belong to him,
Christ, by his Holy Spirit,
assures me of eternal life
and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready
from now on to live for him.
My mom was very peaceful and didn't seem at all nervous. I think she was really ready to get on with this part of the journey.
At noon, she was moved to a holding area where they continued to prep her for surgery. Both her surgeons, her anesthesiologist and a nurse came to chat with her ahead of time. Her surgery was scheduled at 1:00, but Dr. Zadvinskis' first surgery of the day went a little longer than expected, so she didn't actually get taken back to surgery until 2:00. By then she had her "happy medicine" and was quite peaceful as she got carted back.
Dr. Zad came out halfway through the surgery to give us an update. He told us that they almost didn't go ahead with the reconstruction because the tumor was more "invasive" than they originally thought via the MRI pics. It, in fact, had grown a bit into her chest cavity and had begun to invade the muscle tissue. They ended up having to remove a good piece of her pectoral muscle to get all the cancer out. Because the muscle was infected, there's a high probability that she will need radiation. Depending on what the pathology reports show, there is even a slight possibility that she'll need chemo. We'll cross that bridge when we get there, but for now we'll pray that the pathology results don't warrant that.
Due to the fact that Dr. Zad had to remove muscle, Dr. Ford, the plastic surgeon, had to adjust his tactics a bit. There wasn't enough muscle left to create a pocket for her temporary implant, so he had to pull muscle up from her left side/back in order to have a pocket of muscle big enough for the implant.
Both the initial mastectomy and the reconstruction surgeries were a bit more involved than they anticipated, so she's pretty sore. That said, we prayed that the Lord would open the eyes of the surgeons to see everything they needed to see, and that they would get all the cancer out. It appears that they've been able to do just that, and that is reason to give thanks and praise! Also, we prayed that her lymph nodes would be free and clear of cancer. They ended up removing 7 lymph nodes and they all came back negative for cancer - which is a HUGE praise! Thank you, Lord!
Obviously we've entered yet another time of waiting . . . waiting for pathology reports, waiting to figure out "next steps", waiting for God to begin healing her body . . . but we have the promise that: " . . . those who wait upon the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
As we wait, we TRUST. We know Whose hands my mom is in. We know that God is her Creator, Healer, Redeemer, Friend, Rock, Fortress and her Abba. He loves and cares for her more than I do (which is A LOT!!!), and He will be faithful to carry her through this by his grace and peace.
Please continue to pray for her. Pray for good pain management. Pray for peace - she still doesn't know (as of last night anyway) how extensive her surgeries were, and she doesn't know about the possibility of radiation etc. That's going to be discouraging to her. Pray against discouragement. Praise God for the good news we DID get regarding getting all the cancer out and now cancer in the lymph nodes. Praise God that my mom, and her whole crew of supporters were truly able to be light and salt. There's no way that people sitting and standing around us couldn't have heard the "good news" and peace that comes from complete trust in God. Pray for healing. Pray that wise decisions can be made on the parts of the docs and nurses (and us) regarding what the next steps are. Pray that my mom will be encouraged, edified and lifted up.
Thanks for your love, thoughts and prayers . . . they are carrying us through!
Much love to all of you!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Pray With Me
I've alluded to the fact that there's been a lot going on over the last few weeks. It's been a little overwhelming at times, but God's presence has been very real and his grace sufficient.
About a month ago, my precious mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The initial shock of hearing that wasn't fun. I'm sure many of you are familiar with that feeling you get when you hear the "C" word. Your initial thoughts take you down a dark and winding path . . . ick.
Thankfully all of the testing she's had thus far seem to point to the fact that the cancer is contained to the one lump in her left breast. According to MRI, her right side is free and clear of any sign of cancer, and her lymph system doesn't appear to be affected. The docs will check out her lymph system while she's in surgery to confirm that all is well.
She's going in for a single mastectomy and reconstruction tomorrow afternoon at 1p. Our family covets your prayers.
Please pray that the surgery goes smoothly with no surprises. Pray that the Lord guides the hands of the two surgeons that will be working on my mom. Pray that they won't miss anything. Pray that the cancer is indeed contained, and that her lymph system is free and clear. Pray that she (and we) will be light and salt to those around us. Pray that God will receive all honor, glory and praise through this experience.
We feel tremendous peace and an incredible outpouring of God's love through the love of our family and friends. Many thanks to those of you who have continued to lift us up in prayer over the past weeks.
Here's a recent pic of my mom with my sister. It shows how beautiful she is on the outside . . . but know that she is even MORE beautiful on the inside. Her testimony is tremendous, her faith is amazing, her love for the Lord grows stronger everyday. I thank the Lord for my precious mom, and look forward to celebrating God's goodness and healing power!
About a month ago, my precious mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. The initial shock of hearing that wasn't fun. I'm sure many of you are familiar with that feeling you get when you hear the "C" word. Your initial thoughts take you down a dark and winding path . . . ick.
Thankfully all of the testing she's had thus far seem to point to the fact that the cancer is contained to the one lump in her left breast. According to MRI, her right side is free and clear of any sign of cancer, and her lymph system doesn't appear to be affected. The docs will check out her lymph system while she's in surgery to confirm that all is well.
She's going in for a single mastectomy and reconstruction tomorrow afternoon at 1p. Our family covets your prayers.
Please pray that the surgery goes smoothly with no surprises. Pray that the Lord guides the hands of the two surgeons that will be working on my mom. Pray that they won't miss anything. Pray that the cancer is indeed contained, and that her lymph system is free and clear. Pray that she (and we) will be light and salt to those around us. Pray that God will receive all honor, glory and praise through this experience.
We feel tremendous peace and an incredible outpouring of God's love through the love of our family and friends. Many thanks to those of you who have continued to lift us up in prayer over the past weeks.
Here's a recent pic of my mom with my sister. It shows how beautiful she is on the outside . . . but know that she is even MORE beautiful on the inside. Her testimony is tremendous, her faith is amazing, her love for the Lord grows stronger everyday. I thank the Lord for my precious mom, and look forward to celebrating God's goodness and healing power!
Growing Up is Hard to Do.
If any of you follow me on facebook you would have read my progressive updates on how night #1 of no thumbsucking was going. Let's just say it was rough.
She did fine the first hour, just a little whimpering here and there . . . but hour two, progressed into screaming, kicking, getting out of bed, begging for me to wash off the jalepeno etc.
At one point I went into her room, and I asked her where Rar was. (Rar is her beloved bear that she's had since she was born - it's like the velvetine rabbit - well loved - missing fur and half of an eye). She yelled out, "He's laying over there on the floor!!! I threw him over there cuz he kept making me want to suck my thumb!!!"
There was poor Rar, crumpled in a pile on the floor. Tossed aside. Forsaken.
Two minutes later she asked for him back. She finally succumbed to sleep at 9:58p.
I had to laugh at the interchange, but was just a little sad for Faith too. This whole growing up thing is tough stuff. Rar and her thumb have been her "go to guys" for her whole life. They've been her comfort when she's sad or hurt. They've been with her wherever she goes.
Last night, Rar and her Pooh blanket were intentionally left in the kitchen. She said she didn't want them. She fell asleep without them - and without her thumb.
She's growing up, folks. She's determined to be done with the thumbsucking and being "babyish". She's well on her way to that pair of earrings! Hopefully next week you'll see a picture of my grown up girl with earrings in her ears!
Funny little side note about last night:
After Faith was all tucked in and settled down for the night, I ran over to my mom's for a bit. When I got back and checked on her she was almost asleep, but stirred when I kissed her head.
She looked up at me and said, "Mom, did you hear about the incident?"
"What incident?" I asked.
"I don't think I can even explain what happened, Mom. It was bad."
"What happened? I was only gone for 20 minutes." said I.
"Well (pause) I got up to go to the bathroom, and I wiped my butt with my jalepeno hand . . . let's just say there was a little screaming that happened." said Faith.
"Oh NOO! That sounds miserable! What did you do?" I asked.
"I was too embarrassed to tell dad at first, but it was burning so bad that I ran and got him. He washed it off and put some burn cream on it. It feels much better now."
So for any of you considering the jalepeno method - NOTE TO SELF: Don't wipe butt with the jalepeno hand.
She did fine the first hour, just a little whimpering here and there . . . but hour two, progressed into screaming, kicking, getting out of bed, begging for me to wash off the jalepeno etc.
At one point I went into her room, and I asked her where Rar was. (Rar is her beloved bear that she's had since she was born - it's like the velvetine rabbit - well loved - missing fur and half of an eye). She yelled out, "He's laying over there on the floor!!! I threw him over there cuz he kept making me want to suck my thumb!!!"
There was poor Rar, crumpled in a pile on the floor. Tossed aside. Forsaken.
Two minutes later she asked for him back. She finally succumbed to sleep at 9:58p.
I had to laugh at the interchange, but was just a little sad for Faith too. This whole growing up thing is tough stuff. Rar and her thumb have been her "go to guys" for her whole life. They've been her comfort when she's sad or hurt. They've been with her wherever she goes.
Last night, Rar and her Pooh blanket were intentionally left in the kitchen. She said she didn't want them. She fell asleep without them - and without her thumb.
She's growing up, folks. She's determined to be done with the thumbsucking and being "babyish". She's well on her way to that pair of earrings! Hopefully next week you'll see a picture of my grown up girl with earrings in her ears!
Funny little side note about last night:
After Faith was all tucked in and settled down for the night, I ran over to my mom's for a bit. When I got back and checked on her she was almost asleep, but stirred when I kissed her head.
She looked up at me and said, "Mom, did you hear about the incident?"
"What incident?" I asked.
"I don't think I can even explain what happened, Mom. It was bad."
"What happened? I was only gone for 20 minutes." said I.
"Well (pause) I got up to go to the bathroom, and I wiped my butt with my jalepeno hand . . . let's just say there was a little screaming that happened." said Faith.
"Oh NOO! That sounds miserable! What did you do?" I asked.
"I was too embarrassed to tell dad at first, but it was burning so bad that I ran and got him. He washed it off and put some burn cream on it. It feels much better now."
So for any of you considering the jalepeno method - NOTE TO SELF: Don't wipe butt with the jalepeno hand.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Giving Up An Old Friend
Hello fellow bloggers . . . sorry it's been so long since I've posted. An awful lot has happened since my last entry . . . and I'll get to that in the next post . . . but for now . . .
I'm listening to my 6 (almost 7) year-old crying in her bed, trying to fall asleep for the first time without the aid of her trusty left thumb. I realize that I probably should have addressed this issue a long time ago, but it was never a huge deal until now.
You see, she only ever sucked her thumb when she was falling asleep, or was badly hurt and needed a little comfort. Now, however, her big front teeth are coming in - and they aren't coming in nice and straight like her baby teeth. They are turning into quite the pair of "bucky beavers" (I don't use this terminology with her, of course).
Anyway, Mike heard a broadcast by Dr. Dobson the other day addressing the issue of thumbsucking. He had some good ideas for how to deal with the issue. First he said that you need to talk with your child about why thumbsucking isn't such a good idea:
1. it can make your teeth stick out.
2. if your teeth stick out, you might get teased.
3. no-one wants to be teased.
4. it's "babyish", and 6 year-olds definitely don't want to be babyish
Check!
He also suggested wiping the child's finger with the inside of a jalepeno pepper.
Check!
We added the extra incentive of pierced ears if she can make it to sleep 10 days in a row without her old friend.
We'll see how it goes . . . we're praying that her "strong will" and "stubborn streak" will be put to good use. We hope she can remain perseverant over the next 10 days.
As of now, the crying has stopped . . . here's hoping the hardest day is a successful one!
I'm listening to my 6 (almost 7) year-old crying in her bed, trying to fall asleep for the first time without the aid of her trusty left thumb. I realize that I probably should have addressed this issue a long time ago, but it was never a huge deal until now.
You see, she only ever sucked her thumb when she was falling asleep, or was badly hurt and needed a little comfort. Now, however, her big front teeth are coming in - and they aren't coming in nice and straight like her baby teeth. They are turning into quite the pair of "bucky beavers" (I don't use this terminology with her, of course).
Anyway, Mike heard a broadcast by Dr. Dobson the other day addressing the issue of thumbsucking. He had some good ideas for how to deal with the issue. First he said that you need to talk with your child about why thumbsucking isn't such a good idea:
1. it can make your teeth stick out.
2. if your teeth stick out, you might get teased.
3. no-one wants to be teased.
4. it's "babyish", and 6 year-olds definitely don't want to be babyish
Check!
He also suggested wiping the child's finger with the inside of a jalepeno pepper.
Check!
We added the extra incentive of pierced ears if she can make it to sleep 10 days in a row without her old friend.
We'll see how it goes . . . we're praying that her "strong will" and "stubborn streak" will be put to good use. We hope she can remain perseverant over the next 10 days.
As of now, the crying has stopped . . . here's hoping the hardest day is a successful one!
Friday, March 06, 2009
Monday, February 23, 2009
The Journey - Part 5
OK, I know it's been a while since I've posted . . . I thought today would be a good day to continue telling of our journey . . .
Last I left it, we had experienced the mighty healing of my precious husband! Cancer was a tough road, but it was fast, furious, and done with rather quickly. That left us to focusing our attention back onto trying to get pregnant. We decided to move forward with infertility treatments, namely IUI (intrauterine insemination). We had tried this multiple times before, but it never worked. I had my first laparoscopy surgery the day after we found out Mike had cancer . . . so the pipes were clean, so to speak, and we were optimistic that we would achieve a pregnancy.
On our third try, our dream for a pregnancy finally came true! We were cautiously optimistic, but found out pretty quickly that things weren't good, and it ended in a miscarriage. I ended up having a D&C surgery to remove the pregnancy, and we were left again, broken-hearted. We were left with more questions than answers. Would God EVER hear our cries for a child? We're we doing something wrong? Why, God? Why put a child there and then take it away? I spent many days crying - bawling my eyes out and crying out to God. Would he EVER answer our prayer for a child?
We decided, after I healed from the surgery to give it another try. The next IUI didn't work . . . we were running out of money. You can only spend $2500 a month for so many months before the money runs out!
We had enough money to try one last time. We were putting all of our eggs (quite literally) in one basket.
I remember so clearly September 10, 2001 . . . Mike and I went to a Michael W. Smith concert . . . it was an amazing concert centered on praising and worshipping THE ONE . . . THE ONE who loves me, THE ONE who gave his Son as a sacrifice for me, THE ONE who created me, THE ONE who is in charge, THE ONE who I needed to submit and surrender to. That night, I recommitted myself to trusting that God would fulfill his plan in and through me whether I ever was able to have a child or not. I remember bawling as we sang, "And I . . . . I'm desperate for you! And I . . . I'm lost without you!" I left the concert that night with a renewed faith and trust in THE ONE.
The next morning was September 11, 2001.
In October, we had our final IUI done. On the 29th of that month, I found out I was pregnant. Then on the 31st, I found out the numbers had more than doubled. A couple of weeks later, at 6 weeks pregnant, I laid eyes on my beautiful Faith Ellen Huisman. She had been inside of me for 4 short weeks, and already I could see her little heart beating - truly the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life.
Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling and experience of my entire life! Watching her via ultrasound growing and developing - having a window to see what THE ONE - the Creator was weaving together in my womb (Psalm 139) filled me with unspeakable joy! I get tears in my eyes even now just thinking about it.
Then, on June 28, 2002, four years after the beginning of our infertility journey, our precious Faith Ellen Huisman was born! She was named Faith because she was the fulfillment of God's faithfulness to us. Her middle name is Ellen, which means light. She was the light at the end of a very long tunnel.
The lows of the journey were oh so low . . . but the highs - there's nothing like the highs! There's nothing like experiencing God's face shining on you and His being gracious toward you!
It just goes to show that there's always more to the journey. You never know what God has in store for you around the corner.
There's always sun after the storm. There's always spring after a long winter. God's faithfulness is new every morning. We just have to trust him to bring us through the storm . . . through the long winter . . . to the place where everything is new and beautiful!
Last I left it, we had experienced the mighty healing of my precious husband! Cancer was a tough road, but it was fast, furious, and done with rather quickly. That left us to focusing our attention back onto trying to get pregnant. We decided to move forward with infertility treatments, namely IUI (intrauterine insemination). We had tried this multiple times before, but it never worked. I had my first laparoscopy surgery the day after we found out Mike had cancer . . . so the pipes were clean, so to speak, and we were optimistic that we would achieve a pregnancy.
On our third try, our dream for a pregnancy finally came true! We were cautiously optimistic, but found out pretty quickly that things weren't good, and it ended in a miscarriage. I ended up having a D&C surgery to remove the pregnancy, and we were left again, broken-hearted. We were left with more questions than answers. Would God EVER hear our cries for a child? We're we doing something wrong? Why, God? Why put a child there and then take it away? I spent many days crying - bawling my eyes out and crying out to God. Would he EVER answer our prayer for a child?
We decided, after I healed from the surgery to give it another try. The next IUI didn't work . . . we were running out of money. You can only spend $2500 a month for so many months before the money runs out!
We had enough money to try one last time. We were putting all of our eggs (quite literally) in one basket.
I remember so clearly September 10, 2001 . . . Mike and I went to a Michael W. Smith concert . . . it was an amazing concert centered on praising and worshipping THE ONE . . . THE ONE who loves me, THE ONE who gave his Son as a sacrifice for me, THE ONE who created me, THE ONE who is in charge, THE ONE who I needed to submit and surrender to. That night, I recommitted myself to trusting that God would fulfill his plan in and through me whether I ever was able to have a child or not. I remember bawling as we sang, "And I . . . . I'm desperate for you! And I . . . I'm lost without you!" I left the concert that night with a renewed faith and trust in THE ONE.
The next morning was September 11, 2001.
In October, we had our final IUI done. On the 29th of that month, I found out I was pregnant. Then on the 31st, I found out the numbers had more than doubled. A couple of weeks later, at 6 weeks pregnant, I laid eyes on my beautiful Faith Ellen Huisman. She had been inside of me for 4 short weeks, and already I could see her little heart beating - truly the most amazing thing I've ever seen in my life.
Being pregnant was the most amazing feeling and experience of my entire life! Watching her via ultrasound growing and developing - having a window to see what THE ONE - the Creator was weaving together in my womb (Psalm 139) filled me with unspeakable joy! I get tears in my eyes even now just thinking about it.
Then, on June 28, 2002, four years after the beginning of our infertility journey, our precious Faith Ellen Huisman was born! She was named Faith because she was the fulfillment of God's faithfulness to us. Her middle name is Ellen, which means light. She was the light at the end of a very long tunnel.
The lows of the journey were oh so low . . . but the highs - there's nothing like the highs! There's nothing like experiencing God's face shining on you and His being gracious toward you!
It just goes to show that there's always more to the journey. You never know what God has in store for you around the corner.
There's always sun after the storm. There's always spring after a long winter. God's faithfulness is new every morning. We just have to trust him to bring us through the storm . . . through the long winter . . . to the place where everything is new and beautiful!
Friday, February 06, 2009
Friday, January 09, 2009
YouVersion - January 9 Thoughts
Genesis 17:9-14,23
"Then God said to Abraham, 'Your responsibility is to obey the terms of the covenant. You and all your descendants have this continual responsibility. This is the covenant that you and your descendants must keep: Each male among you must be circumcised. You must cut off the flesh of your foreskin as a sign of the covenant between me and you. From generation to generation, every male child must be circumcised on the eighth day after his birth. This applies not only to members of your family, but also to the servants born in your household and the foreign-born servants whom you have purchased. All must be circumcised. Your bodies will bear the mark of my everlasting covenant. Any male who fails to be circumcised will be cut off from the covenant family for breaking the covenant."
"On that very day Abraham took his son, Ishmael, and every male in his household, including those born there and those he had bought. Then he circumcised them, cutting off their foreskins, just as God had told him."
"Then God said to Abraham, 'Your responsibility is to obey the terms of the covenant. You and all your descendants have this continual responsibility. This is the covenant that you and your descendants must keep: Each male among you must be circumcised. You must cut off the flesh of your foreskin as a sign of the covenant between me and you. From generation to generation, every male child must be circumcised on the eighth day after his birth. This applies not only to members of your family, but also to the servants born in your household and the foreign-born servants whom you have purchased. All must be circumcised. Your bodies will bear the mark of my everlasting covenant. Any male who fails to be circumcised will be cut off from the covenant family for breaking the covenant."
"On that very day Abraham took his son, Ishmael, and every male in his household, including those born there and those he had bought. Then he circumcised them, cutting off their foreskins, just as God had told him."
When Mommy's on the Computer . . .
Bella finds ways to occupy herself . . . "tucking in" the dog . . . and wearing her ballerina outfit for the fourth day in a row!
Failure/Success
So this is what happens when you try a recipe from the internet . . . I'm thinking there was an ingredient missing!
And this is what happens when you stick to the tried and true recipes from your home recipe box! MMMMMmmmmmm!
And this is what happens when you stick to the tried and true recipes from your home recipe box! MMMMMmmmmmm!
Thursday, January 08, 2009
Bummer Dude!
It was 7:20a.
We were a flurry of activity, as we always are on carpool mornings, trying to get out the door by 7:30.
Mike went to leave for work, but came back in the house saying, "You better check to see if Faith has school this morning. I bet we got 6 inches of snow last night."
I went to my computer and checked WOODTV.com . . . and, what do ya know! Two hour delay!
Nice!
It wouldn't be so bad if the kids naturally got up that early . . . but we had to wake them up, and today even BELLA is a crabby bear.
GRRRRRR!
Note to self: ALWAYS check for closings BEFORE you wake up the kids!
I'm just glad I figured it out BEFORE we were out the door!
We were a flurry of activity, as we always are on carpool mornings, trying to get out the door by 7:30.
Mike went to leave for work, but came back in the house saying, "You better check to see if Faith has school this morning. I bet we got 6 inches of snow last night."
I went to my computer and checked WOODTV.com . . . and, what do ya know! Two hour delay!
Nice!
It wouldn't be so bad if the kids naturally got up that early . . . but we had to wake them up, and today even BELLA is a crabby bear.
GRRRRRR!
Note to self: ALWAYS check for closings BEFORE you wake up the kids!
I'm just glad I figured it out BEFORE we were out the door!
Tuesday, January 06, 2009
YouVersion - January 5 Thoughts
"Then God told Noah and his sons," Genesis 9:8
I don't know why, but it struck me as strange that this is a verse - in and of itself - "God told Noah and his sons,"
I SO wish that God still spoke aloud . . . that I could have an actual conversation with him. All through the Bible are examples of God speaking to people . . . Adam, Noah, Moses etc. He gave verbal instruction.
Now, I realize we have God's Word, and that he "speaks" to us through it . . . I even realize that God "speaks" to us through other people, or through our thoughts . . . but, wouldn't it be really nice to actually hear his spoken Word? To get a clear instruction from him?
So often I find myself in a situation where a decision needs to be made, or a path needs to be chosen . . . wouldn't it be nice to chat with God, instead of having to discern it through time, advice, prayer (which so often feels one-sided)? Wouldn't it be nice to audibly hear, "Sonny, go and . . ." OR "Sonny, I solemnly promise . . . " I find myself willing to do what God asks of me . . . but wondering what it is he's actually asking. I'd really love a verbal word from him right now.
Then again, even when God spoke to people like Abraham, there were commands on WHAT to do, but a LOT of confusion about the WHY, and sometimes even the WHERE . . . The bottom line is that we move forward in faith, right? Even when we don't know the whys, wheres or hows.
Maybe I'm just feeling tired . . . prayer and discernment are hard for me right now. I just wish God would "quick a sec" tell me what the "next steps" look like. It would be so much easier that way than discerning it for myself.
I don't know why, but it struck me as strange that this is a verse - in and of itself - "God told Noah and his sons,"
I SO wish that God still spoke aloud . . . that I could have an actual conversation with him. All through the Bible are examples of God speaking to people . . . Adam, Noah, Moses etc. He gave verbal instruction.
Now, I realize we have God's Word, and that he "speaks" to us through it . . . I even realize that God "speaks" to us through other people, or through our thoughts . . . but, wouldn't it be really nice to actually hear his spoken Word? To get a clear instruction from him?
So often I find myself in a situation where a decision needs to be made, or a path needs to be chosen . . . wouldn't it be nice to chat with God, instead of having to discern it through time, advice, prayer (which so often feels one-sided)? Wouldn't it be nice to audibly hear, "Sonny, go and . . ." OR "Sonny, I solemnly promise . . . " I find myself willing to do what God asks of me . . . but wondering what it is he's actually asking. I'd really love a verbal word from him right now.
Then again, even when God spoke to people like Abraham, there were commands on WHAT to do, but a LOT of confusion about the WHY, and sometimes even the WHERE . . . The bottom line is that we move forward in faith, right? Even when we don't know the whys, wheres or hows.
Maybe I'm just feeling tired . . . prayer and discernment are hard for me right now. I just wish God would "quick a sec" tell me what the "next steps" look like. It would be so much easier that way than discerning it for myself.
YouVersion - January 4 Thoughts
"I will never again curse the earth, destroying all living things, even though people's thoughts and actions are bent toward evil from childhood. As long as the earth remains, there will be springtime and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night." Genesis 8:21-22
Every change of season is a reminder of his promise. Even a Michigan winter is evidence of God's faithfulness . . . hmmm . . . that's a new perspective! ha ha.
Every change of season is a reminder of his promise. Even a Michigan winter is evidence of God's faithfulness . . . hmmm . . . that's a new perspective! ha ha.
You Version - January 2 Thoughts
"So they hid from the LORD God among the trees." Genesis 3:8b
When you read this passage, don't you want to laugh a little? It really is ridiculous . . . hiding from God. Duh, he knows EVERYTHING!
Yet, I do this all the time. I don't literally hide, but I choose not to disclose things to God all the time. I choose not to talk to him about things, afraid I'm going to jinx something . . . how ridiculous is that? He knows my thoughts, whether I'm "telling" them to him or not.
I think the things I'm most afraid to "tell" him are the things that shine negatively on my Christianity - you know, things like doubt, anger, questioning him etc. I shove all those things down because I don't want to admit that they are there. Thoughts enter my head like, "A good Christian wouldn't be doubting . . . a good Christian wouldn't question God . . . a good Christian wouldn't be angry". Those thoughts obviously aren't from God. They're from the deceiver.
I know that just the opposite is true. Doubting God, questioning God, even being angry with God can be a good thing, dare I say, a healthy thing? The trick, however, is full-disclosure. I need to have the courage to share my misgivings with him. I need to be completely honest with my struggles and my questions. Doing so . . . wrestling with them . . . has the power to actually strengthen my relationship with him.
I hope 2009 can be a year of "full disclosure" not a year of hiding.
I must say, right now is a low time of life for me. I have a LOT of questions and a LOT of doubts, and, quite frankly, a LOT of anger. God can be very confusing sometimes. However, instead of letting those things eat away at me, or allowing them to take root and grow bitterness, I'm going to choose to keep God in the loop. I'm going to take him at his Word. His Word says that he has unfailing love for me, and that his grace is sufficient to cover my sins and my doubts. I need to echo the psalmists that fully disclosed their feelings of abandonment, fear, anger . . . yet chose to remember God's faithfulness to them.
Everything in me right now, wants to hide . . . to run away . . . to abandon the God that seems to have abandoned me. But, instead, I will choose to trust . . . I will choose full disclosure . . . I will choose to keep him in the loop, trusting (not feeling) that my faith will be strengthened through it.
When you read this passage, don't you want to laugh a little? It really is ridiculous . . . hiding from God. Duh, he knows EVERYTHING!
Yet, I do this all the time. I don't literally hide, but I choose not to disclose things to God all the time. I choose not to talk to him about things, afraid I'm going to jinx something . . . how ridiculous is that? He knows my thoughts, whether I'm "telling" them to him or not.
I think the things I'm most afraid to "tell" him are the things that shine negatively on my Christianity - you know, things like doubt, anger, questioning him etc. I shove all those things down because I don't want to admit that they are there. Thoughts enter my head like, "A good Christian wouldn't be doubting . . . a good Christian wouldn't question God . . . a good Christian wouldn't be angry". Those thoughts obviously aren't from God. They're from the deceiver.
I know that just the opposite is true. Doubting God, questioning God, even being angry with God can be a good thing, dare I say, a healthy thing? The trick, however, is full-disclosure. I need to have the courage to share my misgivings with him. I need to be completely honest with my struggles and my questions. Doing so . . . wrestling with them . . . has the power to actually strengthen my relationship with him.
I hope 2009 can be a year of "full disclosure" not a year of hiding.
I must say, right now is a low time of life for me. I have a LOT of questions and a LOT of doubts, and, quite frankly, a LOT of anger. God can be very confusing sometimes. However, instead of letting those things eat away at me, or allowing them to take root and grow bitterness, I'm going to choose to keep God in the loop. I'm going to take him at his Word. His Word says that he has unfailing love for me, and that his grace is sufficient to cover my sins and my doubts. I need to echo the psalmists that fully disclosed their feelings of abandonment, fear, anger . . . yet chose to remember God's faithfulness to them.
Everything in me right now, wants to hide . . . to run away . . . to abandon the God that seems to have abandoned me. But, instead, I will choose to trust . . . I will choose full disclosure . . . I will choose to keep him in the loop, trusting (not feeling) that my faith will be strengthened through it.
YouVersion - January 1 Thoughts
"He breathed the breath of life into the man's nostrils, and the man became a living person." Genesis 2:7
Forever and ever I have struggled with self-esteem . . . loving myself . . . discovering my self worth. Today as I was reading this passage and scrolled down to the life-application notes, I read this: "The body is a lifeless shell until God brings it alive . . . therefore, our life and worth come from God's Spirit . . . in reality, our worth comes not from our achievements but from the God of the universe, who chooses to give us the mysterious and miraculous gift of life. Value life as he does."
I've always "valued life". I've been pro-life my whole life, and my struggle with infertility and knowledge of what it takes for a life to actually come into existence has increased the value I put on life. Why is it then, that I don't allow myself to put that value on myself?
When I think of myself, I go first of all to all of my flaws . . . a zit, cellulite, my gut . . . my "broken" reproductive parts. It's so easy for me to degrade and devalue myself.
I need to remind myself that my worth comes from The One who breathed life into me in the first place. Without him, I wouldn't even BE! When I self-loath, I am loathing the very God who made me! Instead, I need to praise The One who made me, and celebrate the beauty of his creation.
Forever and ever I have struggled with self-esteem . . . loving myself . . . discovering my self worth. Today as I was reading this passage and scrolled down to the life-application notes, I read this: "The body is a lifeless shell until God brings it alive . . . therefore, our life and worth come from God's Spirit . . . in reality, our worth comes not from our achievements but from the God of the universe, who chooses to give us the mysterious and miraculous gift of life. Value life as he does."
I've always "valued life". I've been pro-life my whole life, and my struggle with infertility and knowledge of what it takes for a life to actually come into existence has increased the value I put on life. Why is it then, that I don't allow myself to put that value on myself?
When I think of myself, I go first of all to all of my flaws . . . a zit, cellulite, my gut . . . my "broken" reproductive parts. It's so easy for me to degrade and devalue myself.
I need to remind myself that my worth comes from The One who breathed life into me in the first place. Without him, I wouldn't even BE! When I self-loath, I am loathing the very God who made me! Instead, I need to praise The One who made me, and celebrate the beauty of his creation.
New Year's Resolution
I'm not huge into New Year's Resolutions, but I've made one this year, that I hope to keep.
My goal: to read through the Bible in a year.
I tried this in 2006, and did fine til about March . . . if you skip a day, you end up about 6 chapters behind . . . that starts to add up if you skip 2 days . . . and pretty soon it becomes overwhelming.
In 2007, I committed to reading the New Testament in a year, and succeeded. Click here to read that blog entry.
In 2008, I took it up a notch and added the Psalms and Proverbs to the New Testament. I'm proud to say that I succeeded in that as well (and was richly blessed, by the way).
This year, I'm going for it again. The whole Bible in a year . . . this means 6 chapters EVERY DAY! That's a lot. But I think I can do it with the help of YouVersion. If you click on the words YouVersion it will take you to the YouVersion site, where you too, can join me in this challenge. The site is cool, cuz you can highlight passages, comment on them, or even keep a private journal of your thoughts. It's a new site, so there are a few things they could improve on, or kinks to work out, but so far I've been impressed. I hope to take time on my blog this year to share thoughts on what I'm reading.
I don't want to get too "church lady" on people, but I think it's important for us to share our thoughts on God's Word.
I'm already behind, but I hope to get caught up today. I'll keep ya'll posted. Join me!
My goal: to read through the Bible in a year.
I tried this in 2006, and did fine til about March . . . if you skip a day, you end up about 6 chapters behind . . . that starts to add up if you skip 2 days . . . and pretty soon it becomes overwhelming.
In 2007, I committed to reading the New Testament in a year, and succeeded. Click here to read that blog entry.
In 2008, I took it up a notch and added the Psalms and Proverbs to the New Testament. I'm proud to say that I succeeded in that as well (and was richly blessed, by the way).
This year, I'm going for it again. The whole Bible in a year . . . this means 6 chapters EVERY DAY! That's a lot. But I think I can do it with the help of YouVersion. If you click on the words YouVersion it will take you to the YouVersion site, where you too, can join me in this challenge. The site is cool, cuz you can highlight passages, comment on them, or even keep a private journal of your thoughts. It's a new site, so there are a few things they could improve on, or kinks to work out, but so far I've been impressed. I hope to take time on my blog this year to share thoughts on what I'm reading.
I don't want to get too "church lady" on people, but I think it's important for us to share our thoughts on God's Word.
I'm already behind, but I hope to get caught up today. I'll keep ya'll posted. Join me!
Christmas
Christmas Eve with my sweet family! There's nothing better than good food, good wine, and good company!
Mike got Faith a BB Gun for Christmas. She got a bullseye the first time she shot!
Bella's prized gift was a ballerina outfit. She had to try it on right away!
Mike got Faith a BB Gun for Christmas. She got a bullseye the first time she shot!
Bella's prized gift was a ballerina outfit. She had to try it on right away!
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Journey - Part 4
The C word . . . Cancer.
You just hear that word and the next thought is . . . death. Cancer = Death.
I had a day or so where all I could think about was losing my husband . . . plus I was trying to recoop from my own surgery. Those were long, scary days.
But, they didn't last long . . . cuz instead of becoming paralyzed by fear, we dove into researching everything we could find out about synovial sarcoma. It was a very rare kind of cancer that usually happens in the 2nd or 5th decades of life (20's or 50's), it usually occurs in a joint area and it was known to be slow-growing.
Mike's was in the soft tissue of his leg - which is rare for this kind of cancer, but thankfully, it was near a nerve which caused him pain. This is why he had the strange lump removed in the first place. He had experienced pain in his leg for almost 2 years before he went in to have it checked out.
Note to self: when experiencing strange pain of any kind . . . get it checked out!
We were grateful to find two sarcoma specialists in the USA . . . one of which was located in Ann Arbor - just over 2 hours away. We met with the specialist that very week, and she determined a second surgery would be necessary.
You see, the first surgery was just a "quick a second - get this weird lump out" surgery with an incision about 2 inches long. The doc who did the initial surgery did some tests on the lump which came back "inconclusive". Because of that, he sent it to Mayo Clinic, who determined it to be cancer.
Because the first surgery was done not knowing the lump was cancer, a second surgery was necessary to get "clean margins". All tissue around the original incision, where bruising or bleeding happened needed to be removed to get rid of any risk of the cancer spreading. He also had to have several x-rays done of his chest area to make sure that the cancer hadn't spread to his lungs (since it spreads via the blood stream).
His surgery was scheduled for October 24, 2000 - Mike's 27th birthday. What a birthday present, huh?
Before I tell you about the surgery part . . . let me tell you about the most amazing part of this part of the journey . . .
Every week on Wednesday nights, we would meet with a close-knit group of friends from church to pray, sing and do Bible study. Well, the Wednesday before Mike's surgery, the entire time was spent praying over Mike and me, and praying for the surgeon and nurses etc. Everyone in the group that night laid their hands on Michael. Everyone was weeping and praying for a miracle of healing . . . when it happened . . .
Mike didn't tell me until later that night . . . he was afraid it would sound crazy or hokey . . . but when our friends were praying for Mike, he felt warmth surge through his leg. It still gives me the chills to even type those words. We didn't know it then, but the Lord's healing hand had touched Mike, and all cancer cells were GONE!
Fast forward to surgery day.
It was a scary day, but we were filled with the peace that passes all understanding. Dr. Bierman removed a grapefruit-sized chunk of Mike's left thigh. They were planning on having to do skin grafts in order to repair Mike's leg, but in another miraculous way, God worked it so that wasn't necessary. It took a few days for Mike to recover, and to get the test results back, but when we did, we were wildly and wonderfully surprised. Dr. Bierman was fully expecting to find residual cancer pockets in the tissue she took out . . . but she couldn't find ANY! She was so stunned by this, that she had the tissue cut into microscopic pieces to look for cancer cells . . . but not a cancerous cell was found! She said this was unheard of! She also told us that there was no need for Mike to have either chemo or radiation! Yet another miracle!
We know without a shadow of a doubt that God healed Mike that night at church. The powerful prayers of God's people were heard and answered in a strong and mighty way!
It took almost a month for Mike to heal to the point that he could walk with out a wheelchair or cane. He had over 60 staples holding his leg together. He likes to tell people that the scar on his leg is from a shark attack or a chain saw juggling accident. He says those stories much more dramatic and interesting than cancer!
This last October 24th marked 8 years of a cancer-free husband. His birthday in 2000 was kind of a "re-birth" for him. Every cancer-free year is a tremendous gift, and a tremendous reason to celebrate God's amazing miracle in our lives.
We will never forget what God did for us that night in the upper room of church. We will marvel in it and tell others about it as long as God chooses to give us breath!
You just hear that word and the next thought is . . . death. Cancer = Death.
I had a day or so where all I could think about was losing my husband . . . plus I was trying to recoop from my own surgery. Those were long, scary days.
But, they didn't last long . . . cuz instead of becoming paralyzed by fear, we dove into researching everything we could find out about synovial sarcoma. It was a very rare kind of cancer that usually happens in the 2nd or 5th decades of life (20's or 50's), it usually occurs in a joint area and it was known to be slow-growing.
Mike's was in the soft tissue of his leg - which is rare for this kind of cancer, but thankfully, it was near a nerve which caused him pain. This is why he had the strange lump removed in the first place. He had experienced pain in his leg for almost 2 years before he went in to have it checked out.
Note to self: when experiencing strange pain of any kind . . . get it checked out!
We were grateful to find two sarcoma specialists in the USA . . . one of which was located in Ann Arbor - just over 2 hours away. We met with the specialist that very week, and she determined a second surgery would be necessary.
You see, the first surgery was just a "quick a second - get this weird lump out" surgery with an incision about 2 inches long. The doc who did the initial surgery did some tests on the lump which came back "inconclusive". Because of that, he sent it to Mayo Clinic, who determined it to be cancer.
Because the first surgery was done not knowing the lump was cancer, a second surgery was necessary to get "clean margins". All tissue around the original incision, where bruising or bleeding happened needed to be removed to get rid of any risk of the cancer spreading. He also had to have several x-rays done of his chest area to make sure that the cancer hadn't spread to his lungs (since it spreads via the blood stream).
His surgery was scheduled for October 24, 2000 - Mike's 27th birthday. What a birthday present, huh?
Before I tell you about the surgery part . . . let me tell you about the most amazing part of this part of the journey . . .
Every week on Wednesday nights, we would meet with a close-knit group of friends from church to pray, sing and do Bible study. Well, the Wednesday before Mike's surgery, the entire time was spent praying over Mike and me, and praying for the surgeon and nurses etc. Everyone in the group that night laid their hands on Michael. Everyone was weeping and praying for a miracle of healing . . . when it happened . . .
Mike didn't tell me until later that night . . . he was afraid it would sound crazy or hokey . . . but when our friends were praying for Mike, he felt warmth surge through his leg. It still gives me the chills to even type those words. We didn't know it then, but the Lord's healing hand had touched Mike, and all cancer cells were GONE!
Fast forward to surgery day.
It was a scary day, but we were filled with the peace that passes all understanding. Dr. Bierman removed a grapefruit-sized chunk of Mike's left thigh. They were planning on having to do skin grafts in order to repair Mike's leg, but in another miraculous way, God worked it so that wasn't necessary. It took a few days for Mike to recover, and to get the test results back, but when we did, we were wildly and wonderfully surprised. Dr. Bierman was fully expecting to find residual cancer pockets in the tissue she took out . . . but she couldn't find ANY! She was so stunned by this, that she had the tissue cut into microscopic pieces to look for cancer cells . . . but not a cancerous cell was found! She said this was unheard of! She also told us that there was no need for Mike to have either chemo or radiation! Yet another miracle!
We know without a shadow of a doubt that God healed Mike that night at church. The powerful prayers of God's people were heard and answered in a strong and mighty way!
It took almost a month for Mike to heal to the point that he could walk with out a wheelchair or cane. He had over 60 staples holding his leg together. He likes to tell people that the scar on his leg is from a shark attack or a chain saw juggling accident. He says those stories much more dramatic and interesting than cancer!
This last October 24th marked 8 years of a cancer-free husband. His birthday in 2000 was kind of a "re-birth" for him. Every cancer-free year is a tremendous gift, and a tremendous reason to celebrate God's amazing miracle in our lives.
We will never forget what God did for us that night in the upper room of church. We will marvel in it and tell others about it as long as God chooses to give us breath!
Thursday, December 18, 2008
The Journey - Part 3
I would say that 1995-1998 were "The Happy Years." If ignorance to the world's problems is bliss . . . we were happy as clams!
We had a lot of fun starting our grown up jobs - Mike as a fork lift guy - me as a 4th grade teacher. We bought our first house and spent all of our free time painting, tearing down walls and building new ones, putting in carpet, siding, roofing. And since we were DINKs (double income no kids) we could actually afford to buy furniture that wasn't made up of cinder blocks. It was a blast! We even added to our family my first year of teaching by getting a black lab puppy. She was abandoned on the playground where I taught . . . we fell in love with the little 8lb ball of fur and ended up keeping her.
We spent our days working, our nights going for walks. Life was good. We were in a rhythm.
Then one day, about three years in to our marriage we got the surprise of our lives. We were pregnant! I laugh at it now . . . but we actually WEREN'T trying. It was, dare I say, an "accident." We weren't expecting it . . . but we had been married for three years, and if God felt it was time for us to be parents, we were ready to accept the challenge.
We were thrilled! And since both of us stink at keeping secrets, we decided to tell our parents when we were about 8 weeks pregnant.
The night I told my mom, I started spotting . . .
The next morning we went to the emergency room, and found out that we had lost the baby.
The day after that was Father's Day.
Thus we began what would become our greatest challenge of our marriage - INFERTILITY.
Even though the pregnancy was unplanned, we were absolutely devastated when it ended the way it did. About two months later, after many tears, we decided that we were indeed ready to start a family. The loss of that little one sealed the deal. We were meant to be parents, and we didn't want to wait any longer.
So we tried . . . and tried . . . and tried. Believe me people - we were doing the work! But to no avail! Each month brought with it hope followed by disappointment. Finally after a year, we decided to seek out a fertility specialist. A friend of mine from high school was dealing with her own infertility issues and highly recommended Dr. William Dodds. He was local. He was the best in the state (and arguably the nation). And, most importantly, he was a Christian.
We went through test after test to determine what was wrong. But other than "hostile mucus" (I know, gross!) they couldn't come up with any problems. We tried Clomid - but I got so many cysts I could never even have a procedure done. We tried several rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination), but, again experienced month after month of hope followed by disappointment. Finally, Dr. Dodds decided in the fall of 2000, that I should have surgery to explore the possibility of endometriosis. He determined from the laparoscopy surgery that I had level 3 endometriosis (out of 4). Thankfully he was able to clear it all out, and gave us good hope for conception.
Then it really hit the fan. The day after my surgery, we found out that Mike had CANCER. Honestly, wasn't infertility enough? Now cancer? We had just received hope to conceive a child . . . and now CANCER? And to add insult to injury, the cancer was in Mike's upper thigh. This meant that his fertility could be compromised if he needed radiation or chemo . . .
When it rains, it pours.
We had a lot of fun starting our grown up jobs - Mike as a fork lift guy - me as a 4th grade teacher. We bought our first house and spent all of our free time painting, tearing down walls and building new ones, putting in carpet, siding, roofing. And since we were DINKs (double income no kids) we could actually afford to buy furniture that wasn't made up of cinder blocks. It was a blast! We even added to our family my first year of teaching by getting a black lab puppy. She was abandoned on the playground where I taught . . . we fell in love with the little 8lb ball of fur and ended up keeping her.
We spent our days working, our nights going for walks. Life was good. We were in a rhythm.
Then one day, about three years in to our marriage we got the surprise of our lives. We were pregnant! I laugh at it now . . . but we actually WEREN'T trying. It was, dare I say, an "accident." We weren't expecting it . . . but we had been married for three years, and if God felt it was time for us to be parents, we were ready to accept the challenge.
We were thrilled! And since both of us stink at keeping secrets, we decided to tell our parents when we were about 8 weeks pregnant.
The night I told my mom, I started spotting . . .
The next morning we went to the emergency room, and found out that we had lost the baby.
The day after that was Father's Day.
Thus we began what would become our greatest challenge of our marriage - INFERTILITY.
Even though the pregnancy was unplanned, we were absolutely devastated when it ended the way it did. About two months later, after many tears, we decided that we were indeed ready to start a family. The loss of that little one sealed the deal. We were meant to be parents, and we didn't want to wait any longer.
So we tried . . . and tried . . . and tried. Believe me people - we were doing the work! But to no avail! Each month brought with it hope followed by disappointment. Finally after a year, we decided to seek out a fertility specialist. A friend of mine from high school was dealing with her own infertility issues and highly recommended Dr. William Dodds. He was local. He was the best in the state (and arguably the nation). And, most importantly, he was a Christian.
We went through test after test to determine what was wrong. But other than "hostile mucus" (I know, gross!) they couldn't come up with any problems. We tried Clomid - but I got so many cysts I could never even have a procedure done. We tried several rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination), but, again experienced month after month of hope followed by disappointment. Finally, Dr. Dodds decided in the fall of 2000, that I should have surgery to explore the possibility of endometriosis. He determined from the laparoscopy surgery that I had level 3 endometriosis (out of 4). Thankfully he was able to clear it all out, and gave us good hope for conception.
Then it really hit the fan. The day after my surgery, we found out that Mike had CANCER. Honestly, wasn't infertility enough? Now cancer? We had just received hope to conceive a child . . . and now CANCER? And to add insult to injury, the cancer was in Mike's upper thigh. This meant that his fertility could be compromised if he needed radiation or chemo . . .
When it rains, it pours.
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