The Journey - Part 2

It's 4:25 in the morning . . . and once again my thoughts have taken sleep from me.

I figured instead of laying in bed wide awake, I would write down some of the thoughts . . . maybe then I can rest.

I left you last having spoken of the first word that began to define my bumpy journey - DIVORCE.

Part 2 will be called - LOVE.

My Dad left when I was a sophomore in high school . . . but just at that time God brought a ray of light into my life, and his name was Mike.

We started out as friends . . . the way it should start, if you ask me. We were "nerds" in that we loved music. We were in band, choir and Madrigals together - oh, and in a study hall together - which meant our paths crossed often. I was dating someone else (a wonderful guy, by the way), but I found myself hanging out with Mike regularly while at school. We had so much fun together that one of our teachers actually thought we were dating!

Mike was an amazing friend. During a tremendously dark time in my life - when lots of bitterness, anger, sadness and confusion were regular parts of my day - he made me laugh!

He made me laugh. He made me laugh at a time that smiles didn't come easily. At the same time, though, I knew he truly cared for me, and he hurt with me as I hurt. He always asked how I was doing and was quick to give me a hug. He gave the best hugs EVER (and still does, by the way). We started talking more and more . . . writing notes . . . it got to the point where I was finding myself seeking him out in the hallways at break and lunch. I was thinking about him when I wasn't at school. It didn't take long for me to figure out that I was having feelings for him.

This was confusing to me, because I was dating a wonderful guy. A guy who was respectful and loving . . . who truly cared about me . . . the first guy I dated who made me feel that I was worth something because of who I was, not what I looked like. I had it all in the dating department . . . but my heart was leading me to Mike.

At one point, on a Madrigal tour where we stayed overnight in a hotel, Mike called from his hotel room to mine. We ended up chatting for about 3 hours, and during that time he confessed that he had feelings for me. Wow. So the feeling was mutual. Now what?

Long story short - I broke up with the wonderful guy - and started dating my soulmate. I know that term is kind of cheesy. But it is oh-so-true. I knew from the moment we had our first strawberry shake at Russ' that I had never felt this way about anyone. I was 16. He was 17. We both knew from the beginning that God had brought us together.

We dated through my senior year of high school and all of college and were married a week after Mike graduated from Calvin.

Everyday since, I have fallen deeper and deeper in love with this man - my gift - God's provision. He is my "home" - my comfort - my security - my gift.

When we said our vows on that beautiful May evening, we had no idea what they were going to come to mean. When you say, "For richer, for poorer . . . in sickness and in health . . . for better, for worse . . . til death do us part" do you really have the capacity or ability to understand what that could come to mean? I think, even if we did get it, we still would have gotten married . . . but we may have hesitated for a minute or two.

You just never know what life is going to throw your way . . .

Like I said . . . I felt I had checked off my crappy thing in life . . . I had no idea that I could experience a greater heartbreak than DIVORCE.

Thankfully, God had provided me with the perfect partner with which to face tremendous valleys (and great mountains). Mike has been, and continues to be "a rock" for me. I may question God . . . I may be angry toward him . . . but I can't deny the amazing gift he gave me in Mike. For that I thank him.