I Suck!
I'm a sucky mom.
I'm a sucky wife.
I'm a sucky friend.
I'm a sucky daughter.
I'm a sucky blogger.
I Suck!
I've treated everyone who is important to me as a nuiscance this week.
- The children I prayed so long to have? . . . just annoyed me - just got in the way of getting things done.
- The husband God saw fit to bless me with? . . . just needed quality time . . . one more thing I had to 'give'.
- The friends I'm so fortunate to do life with? . . . I dissed in order to work - AGAIN!
- The mother-in-law? . . . didn't even call her on her birthday.
- The blog? . . . I haven't typed an entry in a week.
It's true! I suck!
It wasn't until tonight, when I was putting my 1 year old to bed (hastily) that I realized what a truly sucky person I have been. Instead of walking out of the room, listening to her cry herself to sleep, I turned around, picked her back up, and took time to rock her to sleep.
Not only are the people I love missing out on quality time with me, but I am missing out on quality time with them!
In the moments I spent rocking my precious "beautiful, undeserved gift" (that's what her name, Bella Grace, means) to sleep, I prayed a much needed prayer of confession: Forgive me Lord for pushing the amazing gifts you've given me away - all for the sake of WORK! Forgive me for treating them more like interruptions and nuisances instead of treasures! Help me to see the people I love and my work through your eyes - and to balance the two.
Two short weeks ago, my main goal was to "keep the main thing the main thing" - boy have I done a sucky job at that!
I sure am glad that God (and my loved ones) see fit to forgive me when I screw up, and love me despite my suckiness!
5 comments:
I have to say that you only suck as much as every single mom/wife/friend out there. We all struggle with this.
You are a loving, dedicated woman and this was an unusual week in the busyness department.
Don't be too hard on yourself. We love you, and God knows your heart, even when you feel sucky :)
Oh, I and I suck too. Believe me.
AMEN. You are truly preaching to the choir. I suck too!
Let's face it, we all suck sometimes...but thankfully God and other people are gracious in those times. And I still love you. :)
pretty sure i still love ya too. it's hard to say that i don't suck too but i have God here with me.
your sister, sara
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